This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
