Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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