I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
