My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
