just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
