This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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