It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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