I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
