We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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