I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
