a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
