Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
