Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
