are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
