Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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