having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
