hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It's official drugs can't kill me
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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