Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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