how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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