I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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