I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize