I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
