This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Dick very happy bro
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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