the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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