I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
