Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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