You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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