What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
