Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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