i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
