he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
