Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
