Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
