brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She's the barista slut.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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