Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
