I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
