The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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