He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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