what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
