Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
