that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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