a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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