What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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