Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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