Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
