in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
