I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
