Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
