ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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