a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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