I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
