I'm laying in your front yard are you home
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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